Happy Valentine's Day, my friends! For most of us, especially in quarantine, today is just another day. But, this also gives us an excuse to ponder what love is, what it looks like, and how we feel about it.
As I was trying to write a couple of love poems for an ASB contest, I found that it is really hard to write about love. How do you articulate it in a way that isn't cliched, when the word itself feels overused? How do we write about something so fundamental in us, but in a way where it is also unique in comparison to the billions of pieces that have done it before?
So, I went and did a bit of research, stumbling upon some fantastic advice, interesting articles, and a new lense on what "love" can mean.
I began with this article by the New York Times, called "How We Write About Love". I highly recommend you read it. It discusses patterns we fall into depending on factors like our age and gender, a some cliches that didn't even register to me as cliches previously. Part of this is because of my lack of romantic experience-- how on Earth am I supposed to portray love in a unique way if I've never even been in love?
So naturally, I resort to the common phrases of "meet cute", "electrifying", "smelled like cinnamon", etc. Now, I don't think that recognizing that young people write about wanting love as opposed to being in it is a bad thing. Rather, seeing this helped me embrace it. Yes, many other young writers might write about similar experiences, but I can consciously make my way of describing it uniquely my own, while still knowing that the feelings I depict are accurate.
Some other tips I got from my friends on Young Writers Project were also enlightening. One placed an emphasis on writing from experience, and said that instead of using cliches, we can spin them. Another reminded me that love pieces don't need to be happy. Not all love is. The last one told me to look at love from my own perspective, which is an interesting thought. Write about how love affects you, affects your characters, as opposed to the relationship itself.
Lastly, I understood that love poems don't need to necessarily be romantic. You may have heard this before-- I know I have many times before. I took it with a grain of salt though, because as I noticed in songwriting, we can write about other loves in our lives, but most times people will assume it's romantic. In my songwriting workshop this past fall, I wanted us to write about our good friends. It ended up sounding like a love song, because all of the ways we described our best friends could be easily applicable to a romantic partner.
So, if anything actually, I think non-romantic love is even harder to write. Once you recognize this though, it becomes easier to remedy. They are not impossible to write-- rather, be more specific. Explore what makes you differentiate a friend from a potential romantic partner. Or the different types of loves, be it one between you and a grandparent, or between your cousins. Only then, I think, can we really dig into the different nuances of all the various relationships we have in our lives. That is how we differentiate our loves in this life, and our pieces from others'.
I've been struggling lately with trying to find pieces to recommend you guys to read. I don't have that many to be honest, because most times I read the pieces of other young people simply because they feel closer to myself. I have though, come up with a small list. This will sound extremely weird, but I love love. I hope you will enjoy these pieces as much as I did.
Poetry:
- On This 100th Anniversary of the Sinking of the Titanic, We Reconsider the Buoyancy of the Human Heart by Laura Lamb Brown Lavoie
- The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Elliot
- Stone Arch or Conch Shells by eyesofiris (Stone Arch isn't strictly romantic, but a wonderful poem with stanzas about love :)
Short Stories
- The Gift of The Magi by O. Henry
- The Last Leaf by O. Henry
- In the Cemetery Where Al Jolson is Buried by Amy Hempel
- Anything on NYT's Modern Love column
Novels
- can I say anything YA? Depends on what you like. If I think of any super standout ones I'll put them here, but feel free to comment below if you have any personalized requests (I really read too many)
Songs
- Let Me Go by Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso (ft. Florida Georgia Line)
- Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran
- Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran
- Cardigan by Taylor Swift
- Told You So by Little Mix
- Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes
- Tuesdays by Jake Scott
- Die From A Broken Heart by Maddie & Tae
- ...and 90% of the English songs on my Spotify playlist (I'm a hopeless romantic)
If you have any more rec's you think should 100% be up here or some more advice, please put it down in the comments! Love y'all (in the way one loves everything beautiful they don't know yet)
